For a moment there, you were my hero. The previously lacklustre self-promotion that littered your feed was briefly enlivened, albeit with the word ‘cunt’. You, our National Theatre (which, according to my friend Hannah, only put on its first female playwright a few short years ago), were human after all. Moreover, you were right! Steve Norris is clearly a massive cunt! Hooray for you! Hooray for the National Theatre! Hooray for passionate tweets about relevant issues!
But then, you took it down and claimed to have been hacked. As a national institution and a theatre of global reputation, of course you were never going to be hacked by a someone offering fee iPads, nor a ‘h0rny’ pornbot, oh no. Your ‘hacker’ linked to an article concerning the National Theatre! Which included a quote from Steve Norris! And didn’t he just sound like a massive fucking cunt?! I mean, what are the odds?
I bet you’re feeling like absolute shite today, fearing for your job, if you haven’t already lost it. You clearly made an innocent mistake, confusing a personal twitter account for the one your bosses have left you in control of. I hope they go easy on you, because Cuntgate put a huge smile on my face last night. I don’t want to see arts organisations pandering to older, more conservative audiences. I want to interact with them in an online platform which allows for the demonstration of genuine personality, and lets us voice our passions. A bit like you did last night when you called Steve Norris a cunt. You care about what people say about your workplace, something that no wage packet can buy. There are organisations that would kill for their employees to give a shit about their public profile the way you give a shit about the National Theatre. If you were told to make that lame hacking excuse by your superiors, or if they did it for you, I understand completely. I would have done the same, along with a fair bit of crying and whisky drinking.
I just hope that when the bigwig dudes read through your @replies (and they must), they can see the messages of support you received for finally giving the National Theatre some personality.
Lots of love,
*To clarify, I chose ‘dude’ over ‘guy’ or whatever, because I tend to use it for both sexes. Apologies if anyone feels I’m not being gender-neutral.