Petition to make micro-scooters compulsory for all curtain calls in UK theatres
We, the undersigned, support the introduction of legislation to ensure micro-scooters are used in every theatrical curtain call across Britain, whether commercial or subsidised, and regardless of venue or type of staging.
We see two main benefits from introducing such a law. Firstly, as proved in the case of Matilda the Musical, a choreographed micro-scooter curtain call is a fitting end to a hilarious and uplifting trip to the theatre, and can help stem the flow of any embrassing tears of joy that one may suffer during the penultimate scene in which Matilda goes to live with Miss Honey. If these tears do not cease before house lights go up, one may be forced to hide one’s face while pretending to sneeze in order to dab at the eyes with a tissue.
Secondly, a production that (unlike Matilda the Musical) is below par or tedious in any respect, could be saved in its final moments, leading to an increase in ticket sales and therefore bolstering the British economy through VAT and auxiliary spending as the general public vote with their feet for ‘the micro-scooter promise’.
Furthermore, early projections indicate that over 150 new jobs will be created, largely in health and safety, again making an important contribution to the welfare of British citizens.
Yours,
Megan Vaughan.
PS: I saw a version of The Resistable Rise Of Arturo Ui this week too, and can safely say that World War II would NEVER HAVE HAPPENED if micro-scooters had been utilised by Brecht in an early version.
