Adventures in Telly (like spoilers, except you won’t have a clue what I’m going on about)
Mad Men, series one, episode eight:
00.01 - The James Bond people should really sue them for these opening titles.
01.53 - Pete Campbell looks like Leonardo DiCaprio’s uglier brother.
06.56 - In another life, I am Joan Holloway.
11.48 - Look at that hat.
21.07 - Why can’t I have a shabby but massive Greenwich Village apartment to listen to Miles Davis in? Life is so unfair.
24.17 - Here comes a white trash flashback.
28.01 - GAYDAR!! GAYDAR!!
36.50 - Has the tramp got a tampon?
36.57 - Nope, just some chalk. This is why I need Hi-def.
37.46 - £100 says his wife finds that picture.
39.33 - “You make the lie, you invent want”. That’s deep man.
43.48 - Don Draper is just like a gangsta rapper really, isn’t he?
45.19 - Most inappropriate use of bluegrass music since the Rednex charted in 1994.
Lost, series five, episode eight:
01.22 - If the true rules of time travel were adhered to, that rope would totally have disappeared.
02.05 - Crazy prehistoric statue is wearing surprisingly ‘on trend’ jumper dress.
04.58 - Polar bears! Finally!
06.08 - It’s like those 118 runners have actually got parts in the show for real.
06.46 - OMG. Sawyer is like, Captain Boss-Man now.
07.25 - Where are they getting their petrol from, exactly?
09.40 - Juliet has lips like Marge Simpson.
15.05 - “We’re sweaty, gun-toting hillbillies from the future, pleased to meet y’all!”
19.44 - This is what it would be like if Kid Rock had the keys to the Manson family’s commune.
26.54 - It’s the eyeliner robot guy who looks like Rob Lowe!
34.22 - I would totally love to take a submarine to 1974.
39.07 - Blah blah soppy shit blah.
Timewatch - The Real Bonnie and Clyde:
00.36 - Faye Dunaway was so much hotter than the ‘real’ Bonnie.
01.48 - A small part of me hopes this new Depression will increase the number of bank robberies.
06.35 - I swear that’s the same hat Angelina Jolie wore in Changeling.
08.07 - Clyde’s middle name was Champion.
09.45 - “Cop killa! Better you than me! Cop killa! Fuck police brutality!”
11.59 - I hate documentary reconstructions.
17.00 - Clyde Barrow’s choice of a faster car than the police is deemed “acute tactical determination”. Yeah, and looking both ways before you cross the road “demonstrates a calculating drive for vitality”.
20.40 - Shot of moody Midwest pylons.
21.07 - Some moody slide guitar.
21.27 - Shot of prison reflected in murky puddles = generally moody.
23.35 - Inmates dressed like Westlife.
27.28 - I would not want to meet a Browning Automatic Rifle down a dark alley.
28.13 - Shot of overweight Texan shooting at breezeblocks.
29.45 - This Jeff Guinn guy is like the human version of Brian Griffin from Family Guy, except with Owen Wilson’s voice.
40.22 - Schmoot Schmidt? Really? That’s your name?
43.18 - Slide guitar moves from moody to melancholy.
51.20 - Fuck me that’s a shitload of bullet holes.
57.04 - Second inappropriate use of a bluegrass soundtrack in one night.
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