First of all, the play I went to see tonight wasn’t all stretched and distorted like this production photo, although it is kinda interesting that it looks a bit like the title sequence for that Round The Twist kids TV show I was talking about a little while ago where the girl who lived in a lighthouse cloned herself to win some race up the lighthouse staircase of something because tonight’s play was all about cloning.
Except totally not as cool and edgy and Prodigy-soundtrack as you’d except a play about cloning to be. It was mostly just a guy in a leather jacket shouting at a man in a cardigan. And there was a massive school group sitting behind me who spent 80% of the play sighing and groaning and whispering “this is the shittest thing I have ever seen” until the guy in the leather jacket came back on as a man in a jumper and made everyone laugh by saying that humans are 30% lettuce so what does DNA even matter anyway. Then five minutes later these kids were all still pissing themselves about the lettuce thing and I was like “Seriously, you guys reckon this shit is amazing now just because of a joke about a lettuce?” I mean, I thought teenagers only crack a smile when you tell them they don’t have to do any homework, and you buy them shit. Like drugs. One crappy joke (that’s not even a joke at all really - it’s faintly upsetting to think that 30% of us is just fucking lettuce) and they were all filing out of the auditorium trying to out-profound each other with observations about the nature of humanity like they were reading aloud from Bright Eyes lyrics or something.
GOD I HATE THE YOUTH OF TODAY.
