It was my first proper not-an-induction shift at Curve tonight, and I was ushering for Matthew Bourne’s Dorian Gray.
Good things about the shift:
Dorian Gray is very very good. There’s an awful lot of homo-erotic nakedness and dead people hanging from a sort-of-cage-wall-thing and a picture of a man with exploded eyes.
I got to stand next to a couple who were talking in and brandish my torch like a weapon until they shut up. (They left in the interval. Mwahahahaha etc.)
You know when you start a new job and you say “everyone is so nice!” when really you mean “everyone is so nice apart from that twat over there”? Well, that twat obviously wasn’t working tonight because everyone was so nice!
Another usher girl asked if any of us had any tampons and I did so I used it to buy her friendship.
Bad things about the shift:
I had to stand up the whole time.
I went to get more little plastic ice cream scoops at the exact moment that a guy told the other usher on my door that Curve was a massive waste of public money and all the staff are shit. (I always miss good stuff.)
Primark should be banned from selling trousers made out of fucking bin bags.