I am having such an awesome week that I’m basically the smuggest motherfucker you ever met. I wish I could say ‘motherfucker’ without enunciating it all quite so… well, quite so Cheshire. Even reading it in my head it sounds like a white, middle-class girl saying ‘motherfucker’, rather than, y’know, Ice Cube just doing his NORMAL TALKING. Maybe I’ll grow into it. There was a time that I felt silly saying ‘cunt’ and now we’re totally natural bedfellows. Metaphorically speaking OBVIOUSLY. One of the reasons I’m such a smug cunt right now is because of ALL THE SEX I’m having with my smokin’ hot, red-blooded boyfriend. Yeah, mmm-hmmm, true dat, etc.
So anyway. THEATRE.
The History Boys is a bit meh, which I believe is modern day parlance for ‘was that it?’ It was the West Yorkshire Playhouse revival that I saw, and I’d never seen the NT version or the film, so I was a relative blank canvas. I guess if my expectations were higher, it would’ve been an even greater disappointment. It just seemed to go nowhere and do nothing, with a few minor laughs here and there to break up all the homoeroticism. I just didn’t understand how everyone could just shrug off molestation as if it was some contest for house points that went hilariously awry. Maybe this was just a bad attempt at a good play… Maybe I should watch the film…
After that, I wasn’t so enthusiastic about Tuesday’s ticket to Love Love Love by Paines Plough. It’s a Mike Bartlett play and I was a big fan of Earthquakes In London last year (until all the weird futuristic bollocks at the end anyhow), but I was being all “yah yah the death of the pros-arch etc etc” about the whole thing and looking forward to fucking about with headphones at Fierce fest. And to be fair, the first twenty minutes or so didn’t fill me with hope for the form. Two brothers (the younger of which looks about 20 years older than he should be) argue about music and telly and girls and all the standard 1968 stuff. Cue mentions of The Beatles, dope and the protest movement. So far, so *yawns*. But then this AMAZING WOMAN shows up and is PROMPTLY SO AMAZING THAT THE SCRIPT SEEMS TO ACTUALLY QUICKEN IN ORDER TO KEEP UP WITH HER AMAZINGNESS. She was Lisa Jackson and she played Sandra and I LOVED HER. In fairness, I loved Mike Barlett’s writing too from that moment forth. He told us the story of one couple as they meet, raise a family, royally fuck things up, and then retire. 1968, 1991, and now. The last part really struck a chord, as you see a lot of the decisions I’m in the process of making coming back to bite their daughter on the arse. These are scary times we live in. I may be a smug bastard, but I’d be a whole lot fucking smugger if I had a £40K pension and two paid-off houses. *sigh*
And so to yesterday, and Fierce Festival in Birmingham. IT WAS WELL SUNNY! 17 DEGREES! I TOOK MY JUMPER OFF AND CARRIED IT! The main thing I was there for was Symphony Of A Missing Room by Lundahl and Seitl (staged in the art gallery) and I never would’ve guessed it could be as awesome as it was. I thought it’d be a few nice binaural sounds swishing about in my ears and maybe a couple of people looking enigmatic in doorways. Turns out they strap you into massive white goggles and manipulate you around the building with their fingertips, whishing you through walls and into tunnels and over precipices. There was a bit where I SWEAR they took me onto the roof and I suddenly got all oh-God-what-it-they-chuck-me-off-the-edge about it. I had to reassure myself that this was the second day of the show and I’m sure I’d’ve heard about it if six people plummeted to their deaths every hour. I chilled out a bit after that.
Oooh, and I also did karaoke with a Sergeant from Rochdale in Quarantine’s booth at Moor Street Station, and then I went to London and saw Submarine with Neil (THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND Y’KNOW) at the posh cinema in Notting Hill. I interviewed Joe Dunthorne in a fanzine I made yeeeeeeeears ago and it’s awesome seeing his book being turned into such a cool film. Hope it makes a gazillion people read it and make him rich.
Oh yeah, and then I decided to change my dissertation on the day I had to hand in my dissertation proposal, which might not be my finest hour but certainly feels good. I’m gonna do it about theatre criticism now. Tenner says all my recommendations call for MORE SWEARING.